關於快樂 About Happiness
Smile!
目錄 Catalogue⚪ 前言 Foreword⚪ 中文故事⚪ English Story⚪ 繼續閱讀「拾光系列」(Continue Reading this Series)
Hello fellow readers, this is a bilingual Medium post, written in Traditional Chinese and English. As the title had stated, the post is about happiness. Before we begin, I want to ask if you’re happy. If so, what made you happy? If not, what would you change? Cheers.
你好讀者們，這是一篇雙語的 Medium 貼文，總共有繁中及英文兩版。如同標題所示，今天想談談快樂。在我們開始前，我想問你快樂嗎？如果真的快樂，那什麼人、事、物讓你感到快樂？若沒有，那你能改變什麼？Cheers.
中文故事：
快樂的記憶，第一號：
果貿社區中有家「韓記上海餛飩」，掛著一塊鮮紅字體的招牌，給了社區居民們數十年的好滋味。說到餛飩麵，大家可能想到的是午、晚餐，但韓記只賣早點。況且，光臨韓記的熟客多，所以清晨備好的餛飩總是很快就一掃而空。若早起的話，就能不疾不徐地走到老闆前，點一碗餛飩麵和切好的豆干和海帶淋上醬油膏，挑個店門口的位置坐。由於在高雄搬過七次家，幾年下來光顧韓記不是一件稀鬆平常的事。無論是搭公車、開車、騎腳踏車或走路到果貿，花上長短不一的時間，只想吃到那碗熟悉的餛飩麵。對於一位 13 年換了五所學校，一直在與「變化」相處的人，能夠有些始終如一的味道是生活中可遇不可求的福氣。走進懷舊的社區大樓間，眷村風的果貿給了我很多開心的時光。
兩年前在一家麵攤，有人曾問我，「你快樂嗎？」當下我有點嚇到了，畢竟沒有人會看到一個人心情好的時候，問他快不快樂。我們倆面面相覷，真尷尬，麵都吃不下了。放下筷子，我看著碗公裡泛著油光的餛飩和鹹湯圓，腦海閃過那些曾到訪韓記的回憶。我原想用吃的去概括我所有的快樂，但我發現每一餐後的快樂太短暫了。正常人一旦吃飽，瘦體素 (leptin) 便會通知大腦的下丘體 (hypothalamus)，你已經飽了。吃東西成了習慣，沒了刻骨銘心的儀式感。我們確實能憑回憶想像味覺，但當下的情景與人才會讓食物更好吃。補充一下，從味道喚醒過去的情景，這在記憶心理學是名為「普魯斯特式記憶」(Proust Phenomenon) 的現象。那時，三個月前才從聖地牙哥回來的我，把眼前的清湯化作了大海，泡軟的海苔成了被撕裂的海帶；那一絲海風的鹹味又回來了。
快樂的記憶，第二號：
加州的太陽高掛，我漂流於參雜海藻鹹味的浪中，努力睜開被刺痛的雙眼。它已帶著我和朋友們一路驟然升高，達到極限後，一陣猛烈的聲響，擊潰在了海面上！過沒多久，我們發現這股浪愈來愈發兇猛，似乎很快就成了離岸流。一群人加快速度，劃破了海水，一陣陣浪花翻湧至上岸。岸上的人不斷呼喚著我們，甚至有救生員開車去帶回游到較遠的遊客及伙伴們。這是我第一次在大海裡游泳，印象深刻的不得了。既然是第一次，它為我打開許多感官上不同的認知。脫離了人造游泳池和陣陣飄出的氯味，大海的氣息是自由且不受拘束的。當時隊上的任務是要我們和美國同學在 La Jolla Beaches 上進行實作調查。然而，放下實驗器材和紙筆，聖地牙哥的浪果真難以忘懷。三年過去了，我依舊和許多台灣的隊友保持聯繫，成為了非常好的朋友！
從光臨韓記到敘述在聖地牙哥的往事，我為過往的快樂下了註解，但是現在又能在日常中感到快樂嗎？
繼續閱讀｜回目錄心理學家 Sonja Lyubomirsky 對於「快樂」的解讀為：「快樂應結合喜悅、滿足感和正向心理幸福感，並讓人感受一生是好的，有意義且附真實價值的。」
The experience of joy, contentment, or positive well-being, combined with a sense that one’s life is good, meaningful, and worthwhile.
表面上，讓心情快樂是件很輕鬆能達成的事。因為如此，日常生活中不經意的舉動似乎就能帶來快樂。以下是一些可能會讓人感到快樂的事，例如：早起騎單車到山腰看日出、讀一本最近迷上的小說、窩在床裡追連續劇、打完籃球接過場邊的飲料、下班後買個甜點，犒賞自己、晚上去夜店狂歡直到早上才頂著宿醉回家等等。但又有些令人快樂的事，不是這麼唾手可得的。
Lyubomirsky 提及快樂時，他說那是要讓人感到喜悅和滿足的。台灣疫情逐漸緊張時，我 6/04 從亞美尼亞轉機杜拜回到桃機。這為期近 24 小時的旅程中，我有 10 多小時在杜拜機場等待轉機。為了省旅費，我直接在躺椅上睡覺，有夠不舒服。而且，機場沒有可以寄放行李的地方，只能每一到兩個小時起來，檢查東西還在不在，立馬睡回籠覺。前往台灣的旅程上，夜幕低垂。下降前看到了圓山大飯店，感動的是自己順利抵達桃園，幸福無比。下了飛機，桃機的安檢人員訓練有素，光聽到我 5/31 接種 AZ 疫苗後有相關副作用，便立刻將我帶往檢測小站做唾液篩檢。一路到凌晨三點，我才能安心躺在床上入睡。從開始失眠到完成這趟旅行，我想當下能有張床跟枕頭可睡就是很大的快樂吧！
當我把這些繁瑣的小事和偶爾成就的大事串聯起來，達成快樂似乎一帆風順。可惜，取得快樂沒有固定流程，這中間有很多能出錯的地方，例如：出門手機沒電、突然下大雨沒帶傘、朋友爽約、交往對象提分手、和家人吵架、到親戚家踩到沒收好的樂高等等。我想「痛」也能凸顯「樂」的價值吧。一位朋友的爽約讓你意識到可以將時間留給更好的人，那採到樂高當下很痛，反能教小孩不要亂丟玩具。與其說快樂能長長久久，不如說我們都有選擇的權利將危機化為轉機，任何傷心事變為成就快樂的契機。
Lyubomirsky 解讀「快樂」的最後一詞是我覺得最難達成的：感到人生是值得的。(A sense that one’s life is worthwhile.) 不確定性讓我們對於未來充滿迷惑，不知道下一步要怎麼走。甚至一個人可以做到很多事情，卻對於生活感到莫名的空虛。
繼續閱讀｜回目錄時間倒轉，2019 年夏天是我在明誠的最後一學期。我當時擔任了教育部餐桌文化會議的校園大使，代表明誠上台發表英文演講。當時考完段考完全身心靈疲憊，根本不想接下這份任務。然而，我在班導跟主任的勸說下，開始著手撰寫稿子。在別人眼中，我似乎信手拈來就有一些很好的成就，卻不代表我因它們而感到快樂。殊不知，很多時候我都覺得自己不夠好，只能掙扎且賣力地去做好每一項任務。一次夕陽西下，陽光灑落在連結明誠國高中部的天橋上。我很想就這麼抽離當下，不去上在電腦教室的夜輔。跑下國中部的樓梯，經過現在已經是萊爾富的福利社，一路跑出校園算了。
站在後台，我身穿一身明誠的夏季制服：短袖襯衫搭西裝褲，準備登場。當主持人宣布了我的名字，我緩緩走上台，所有觀眾開始鼓掌。幸好，我也把演講稿順暢地唸完了，表現還行。我頭一次意識到自己對「公開演講」失去了熱情，但剛開始去上台發表時，我是有意願挑戰自己的。好幾年前，我在國小時和同學們登上全國的 MOD 英文讀者劇場決賽。這些比賽的片段可能都還有收錄在 MOD 盒子上，可惜我沒有拷貝一份起來。這之後，我擔任了在校生致詞代表，參加過模聯和市立英文演講比賽。這些事做成了習慣，也就提供了當時 17 歲的我一個反思的機會：「為什麼要繼續花時間做這些事？」不可否認的是，參加演講比賽或模聯確實能精進自我，學會說話的藝術，但我已經不清楚堅持下去的目的在哪。
充實感是一種好難定義的東西，因為我想那是一種對自身狀態的「滿意」。若做每件事都有相對應的快樂指數，我能吸收多少進去內心就是一種充實吧。快要 20 了，我希望我能更有自信些。這幾年下來，我很常對自己的能力抱有遲疑，所以做事時都想把它做到最好。我們都要很努力才能把現實經營的跟理想一樣輕鬆。中間會有期待，失望跟驚喜，而我的快樂就是在這一番波折的某些時刻中，還能享受一些生活中開心的事。像我剛剛在 YouTube 上看到做肉桂捲的懶人教學，我覺得到時候烤完、吃到成品就會很快樂了！
書桌旁，放著積了些灰塵的明誠斜背包，正面的 logo 早已褪色。我想起以前無論好與壞的日子，以後也要繼續努力才行呢。
P.S. 寫得好還請你拍掌！(5, 10, 20…)
繼續閱讀｜回目錄English Story:
#1 happy memory:
Han’s Wontons stands out amongst its competitors in the Guomao Community. With its signboard printed in bold red letters, the shop had served its staples to loyal customers over decades. When I speak about wontons, breakfast does not occur in one’s mind, and Han’s only sell during the early hour. The wontons they prepared early morning would often go out of sale soon due to the eager crowd. If I were to wake up early, I could still expect the kind owner with wontons to spare for his customers. In front of the counter, I made my order: a bowl of wonton noodles & a plate of sliced dried tofu with braised kelp, drizzled with soy sauce. Since I’ve moved house in Kaohsiung for 7 times, it hasn’t been easy to visit Han’s. There are times when my mom drives, I ride a bus, walk, or bike to Guomao — all this effort for that familiar taste. Besides, I’ve changed school five times over the past 13 years, so I’ve been dealing with change at a young age. This is why it is nice to have flavors in life that remain faithful to my memories. Walking into the military village with vintage buildings, Guomao is a place of precious memories.
Two years ago, at a noodle stand, someone asked me if I’m happy or not. I was shocked at the moment since no one asked anybody if they’re happy or not unless they look unhappy. We looked at each other, and it was awkward as hell. As I put down my chopsticks, I looked at the wontons and savory tangyuan in my bowl, glistening with a thin layer of fat. My mind flashed back to the times when I visited Han’s. Eating should have generalized how I felt about happiness, but it may be too temporary, to say the least. The leptin in adipose cells notifies the hypothalamus that our stomach is full. Eating has always been a daily habit. It usually does not leave behind an impressive mark for long-term memory. However, if a flavor or smell helps you recall an episodic memory, it is the Proust Phenomenon in psychology. By then, I had only returned from San Diego three months ago. The bowl of clear soup in front of me turned into the sea, the soaked seaweed became the kelp afloat. I could smell the briny tang in the air again…
#2 happy memory:
Under the sun-drenched Cali, I was at sea adrift. The waters stung my eyes, and I could taste the kelp in the air with occasional splashes. The wave brought my friends and me up high, slowly climbing to its peak, and then crashed on the surface with pounding surf. Soon enough, we realized that we were caught in a strengthening rip current. Stick to the pace, I told myself. One stroke after another, we pierced through the surface of the water until we reached the beach. The people onshore called us back while the lifeguards drove their motorcycles to bring back those out of sight. That was the first time I swam in open waters. It opened my senses to realize oneself in the ocean, gaining a connection with the water. If someone were to ask me to describe the smell of the sea, I would say it’s free-spirited, unlike the artificial swimming pools. My mission at the time was to complete an in-field investigation with Taiwanese and U.S. teammates on the La Jolla Beaches. However, as we put down our equipment and papers, the ocean was what completed this experience. After three years, I’m still in contact with my teammates from Taiwan. We became great friends.
From these two samples of memories, I made moments of my past happiness clear. But do I feel this in daily life?
Continue Reading｜Back to CatalogueRenowned psychologist, Sonja Lyubomirsky, interpreted happiness as such:
The experience of joy, contentment, or positive well-being, combined with a sense that one’s life is good, meaningful, and worthwhile.
On the surface, it seems easy to make yourself happy. This is why the slight moments in life could be so powerful and evoke happiness. Here’s a list of different little things that people might come to appreciate to bring joy.
- Waking up early only to bike to the mountainside to catch the sunset
- Reading a novel that you’ve recently fallen in love with
- Netflix and chill on your bed
- Taking a bottle of cool drink after an amazing match
- Buying desert after work to treat yo self
- Staying up all night dancing in a club until you got home with a hangover.
You get it. When Lyubomirsky mentioned happiness, she also made it clear that it came with joy and contentment. When coronavirus cases started to surge in Taiwan, I took the flights from Yerevan, Dubai, to Taipei on June 3rd to return to Taiwan as soon as possible. In this journey that lasted for around 24 hours, I spent 10 hours at the Dubai Airport. Since I wanted to save travel expenses, I slept on one of the lounge chairs for an entire night. It was beyond uncomfortable. Besides, I couldn’t find a place to store my luggage, so I would wake up every one to two hours to check if my stuff is still with me. On my trip back to Taiwan, I could see the Taipei Grand Hotel amid the cityscape at night. As the anticipation to reach home increased, we landed at Taoyuan Airport safely. The ground crew in Taiwan streamlined the procedure, allowing passengers to arrive home safer and faster. Besides, I reported that I had symptoms of fever and malaise after receiving my first dose of AZ on 05/31; the crew immediately sent me away for a saliva test. Around 3 am, I finally crashed on my bed for a good sleep. From having trouble falling asleep to completing this journey, I felt happy to just have a bed to rest on. Damn, it felt great!
When I strung these moments and occasional, meaningful achievements together, achieving happiness seems effortless. Yet, I cannot think of anyone with a protocol to achieve happiness by following a few steps. A lot of things could go wrong during this process, including:
- The phone’s battery died when you’re outside.
- You didn’t bring an umbrella when the rain starts pouring.
- Your friend bailed on you.
- Your partner wants to break up with you.
- Fought with your family.
- Stepped on a lego in your relative’s place (ouch)
Sometimes, getting hurt could demonstrate to one the possibility of happiness. For example, you will come to save time for better things if someone lets you down more than once. Also, if you stepped on your little niece’s lego, this will be an opportunity to teach them to put their toys away. Of course, these events have a wide range in affecting one’s mood, but it would nonetheless be an opportunity to turn negativity into something positive. Happiness does not last long, per se, but we do have the ability to treat every crossroad as it counts. We have the power to say yes or no to realize what we want.
At the end of her interpretation, Lyubomirsky said that we should arrive at a sense that one’s life is worthwhile. The uncertainty in life made us gaze at the future, knowing that a hazy fog lies ahead on the path. A person can do a lot and still feel empty inside.
Continue Reading｜Back to CatalogueBack in Summer 2019, I arrived at my last semester in St. Paul’s High School. At the time, I was the campus ambassador of the Ministry of Education’s T.A.B.L.E Summit, representing my school to give an English speech on family values. I was exhausted after my midterms, but after a round of persuasion from my homeroom teacher and administrative director, I started writing my speech draft. In other’s perspectives, I seem to be able to achieve things effortlessly, but that’s not the case! Struggles are what usually accompanies any success. Normally, I feel like I’m not good enough, so I work harder to exceed my expectations with the tasks at hand. On a sunny afternoon, the sunset illuminates its lights across the bridge that connected the buildings in St. Paul’s. There was a night study class in the computer lab in a few minutes, but I just stood there in silence. I wanted to run down the stairs, go past the convenience mart beside the basketball court, and just rush out of campus. I only managed to do so a few months later.
Standing backstage, I was wearing St. Paul’s standard summer uniform: a short-sleeved white shirt with dim gray suit pants. As the host announced my name, I walked toward the stage as the audience cheered and clapped. Fortunately, I did serve my speech well, and it was alright in retrospect. For the first time, I realized that I lost my passion for public speaking. When I started on this path, I was very willing to challenge myself. In Grade 6, I made it to the MOD English Readers’ Theatre Competition finals in Taipei with a stellar team. You can probably still find the recordings on the MOD set-top box. Unfortunately, I don’t have a copy of it. From there onward, I was the graduate speech class rep in 2017, attended some MUN conferences and city-wide speech competitions. I became used to public speaking, but my 17-year-old self had to reflect on the ultimate why.
Why am I spending time doing this? What is the purpose of it?
I liked debating and giving speeches, but I couldn’t figure out a solid reason to continue pursuing them.
Ultimately, fulfillment should evoke a sense of worthiness because we are our own masters to embrace contentment in life. If everything we do has a corresponding happiness index, how we immerse ourselves in these moments must result in any form of satisfaction. As I inch toward my 20th birthday, I wish to be more confident. Over the past few years, I’ve always been doubtful about my abilities to excel, so I generally want to do my best no matter what. We have to try hard to make reality look as effortless as how we imagine it to be. On this rocky path to adulthood, there have been expectations, letdowns, and surprises throughout. Yet, I never failed to enjoy the great moments in the ebb and flow while they last. For example, I just watched a video on YouTube teaching me how to make cinnamon rolls! If they don’t come out of the oven like scorched in fire, then I guess the rich cinnamon taste will keep me happy throughout the day.
Besides my work desk, I looked at my crossbody bag, slightly dusted, with a faded St. Paul’s logo. Looking back on the good or bad days, it seems to matter little. As I set my eyes on the future, I turn away from the doubts.
P.S. Clap if you like my work! (5, 10, 20…)
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